Biscuits
by Agent Evey
Summary: V decides to go for a classic American dinner, Evey tries on a new dress, and flour get's everywhere. Let the mischief commence!
1. Chapter 1

Giggling was something that V had still not quite grown accustomed to despite it's ever growing presence within his home. Screaming, gurgling, arguing, and banging were a few noises that he was familiar with in his life, yes, but…giggling?

Heavens no. He hardly ever came across it, even during his journeys above, and those few times he that had were usually presented though the observance of someone who was either under the influence of some sort of depressant or who was secretly congratulating themselves for successfully evading a finger-man. …and even in those circumstances none of the amusement had ever been directed or caused by his presence.

Why the sprightly, young Evey Hammond was chortling this time, he did not know, but he suspected that it had something to do with her seemingly endless quest to sneak up on him. A childish game of hers that she had invented out of boredom within the last month or so. The woman was persistent, he had to give her that, but she had yet to execute a successful attack.

With the majority of his attention directed towards the meal he was preparing upon a nearby counter in the kitchen, V looked to be an easy target to Evey. He hadn't even given her a clue as to whether or not he detected her presence. After waiting for him to return all day she was rather disappointed. The man hadn't even let her know that he was home when he arrived, choosing to let her stay on the couch where she had fallen asleep reading. He didn't even wake her up! Well, she would get her revenge.. if only he would stop humming and nonchalant dancing he was doing. Especially in that apron. She couldn't help but to laugh, his foot tapping on the floor, hips swaying ever so slightly here and there as he hummed in tune to some sort of jazz song coming from the Wurlitzer in the distance.

"Ah, and thus 'the dove pursues the griffin,' Evey I know you're there. A noble attempt to catch me unawares but you may want to work on that chirruping that you seem to have trouble controlling. I was beginning to suspect that a lark was in the gallery." V's body turned ever so slightly in acknowledgement of her presence, though his back still remained towards her. More for affect than anything, perhaps then she would realize that it was noise that betrayed her position and not sight.

Evey emerged from a crouching position beneath the dining table, grinning despite her failed attempt at surprising him.

"Bugger. V I'm just glad you're home, that's all. I was really hungry."

V turned to face her, placing some small, circular shaped cutter on the table as he did so. "Aha, the lady comes in search of food and food only. I do not know whether to be flattered or offended."

"Oh, you know what I mean. It's so boring in the gallery when you're not here. I know there are a lot of books and movies but it's not the same as having someone to talk to."

V smiled behind the mask. So it was him that she missed and not simply his flair for exploring the culinary arts, after all. The concept was entirely new to him, being missed…feeling wanted, it was splendid. Perhaps he would try to make an attempt to be around more often, though with the vendetta in full swing it would be difficult. The young woman certainly deserved more than this lonely gallery could offer, certainly deserved more than he had for the past twenty years.

"Ah, yes, I apologize for being absent for the majority of the day. Ran into a bit of trouble with a supply train but all was resolved."

"Supply train? What did you get?"

"Well you will be glad to find out that I have restocked the refrigerator. We were just short of being out of milk. A terrible offense, I must say. Given your appetite for it I brought home two gallons this time."

"How did you manage getting it all here in one trip."

"I didn't."

"But I never saw you." Evey's brows furrowed.

"Ah, I believe that you were showering during my first return. Absorbed in a book during the second."

"Oh…"

"I also made a third trip, during which I retrieved your basic…necessities. You will find them in the lavatory later…as well as a new dress, which I have placed in your bedroom." He gave a polite nod before turning back around to tend to the food on the counter.

"Oh a dress!"

"Yes, it should fit very well. And the color would look…exquisite on you, if I may say."

Evey turned away, trying to hide a coming blush with her curls. Terrorist or not, he did know how to flatter her.

"Thank you V, you didn't have too."

"Oh please Evey. No need to thank me, my dear, it's the least I could do"

Evey nodded. Well perhaps that was somewhat true. He *had,* after all, been the sole cause of her involvement with his plans. Then again, the fingermen that attacked her were probably equally, if not more guilty. Even though it hadn't been necessary for him to show her the "demolition" of the Old Bailey it had been, at the time, the least she could have done for a man who had just saved her life, no matter how strange he seemed.

She directed her gaze back up to V, only to find that he had turned around once more and was staring at her, as if she had been broadcasting her thoughts. Well of course he had turned around, she had gone mute for at least a minute. Did he suspect her thoughts? Probably…the man made it his business to decipher what exactly other people were thinking, her case was likely no different. Her eyes widened as she hastily sought a way to recover. To say that he intimidated her intellectually (and physically, for that matter) would have been an understatement. It was as if she was constantly trying to impress him, trying to prove something about herself. Certainly not something she encountered with every individual she met, or an she met, for that matter.

"So what's on the menu tonight? Whatever's in that pot smells awfully good." …god that sounded stupid.

She was, of course, referring to the pot on the stove that was already happily brewing something for tonight's meal. Not only could V cook, but he could cook fast, something she definitely was not complaining about.

"American Biscuits with beef stew, and I could hazard to guess that you aren't very familiar with either. Possibly the stew, though I am quite sure that those terrible lumps of animal matter that Norsefire allots it's citizens hardly resembles the meat I have employed to become a part of you dinner. The same could be said for the produce"

Evey shook her head. "Bragging, are we? What are 'American Biscuits' supposed to be?"

V's head dipped, he was hardly bragging, simply letting the lady know that she could expect to consume a fine quality meal. "They are quite different from our own hardened wafers; comparable to an unsweetened, buttery scone, I suppose…though arguably a bit softer. I'm afraid that you will have to try it to know exactly what I am attempting to describe. A task, I assume, you are not too terribly opposed too?

"Oh! I'd love to try one. Where did you put them?"

"Ah, I fear I haven't quite finished making them yet. Only a few more steps and they shall be in the oven. "

"Can I help?"

"Of course, Evey. But please do be careful with the flour, it has the tendency to cause quite the mess. I shall retrieve you an apron, though I'm afraid that it will probably be too large for you. No matter, we'll figure out a way to make it fit. One moment."

A few moments later V had Evey all situated and wearing the most audacious lime green and yellow apron that she could ever have imagined. Considering that she was already wearing casual attire there had been no need to change, but .

She curtsied in front of him just after he had finished tying the last knot, it had taken several to make the apron fit properly.

V chuckled, "magnificent, I must say. You'll have every man in London kneeling at your feet."

"More like every bird in London trying to figure out if I'm a piece of fruit" she gave him a sarcastic grin, "Right then, so where do we start?"

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	2. Chapter 2

V had already completed half of the recipe before Evey's entrance, but was more than willing to teach her the rest. By the time the dough was finished he had given her an entire lectures worth of knowledge involving the history and culture of the American South. Something that delighted her, though mostly because of his passion for sharing the knowledge rather than the actual facts themselves. Just to see him get excited over something was a rare occasion. The poor man seemed so eager for company, something she was certainly beginning to understand now that she had been allowed to experience life underground.

Spreading the dough out on top of a good bit of flour, and holding up the round cutter he had located earlier, V turned to Evey.

"What the hell is that?" she raised a brow.

V cleared his throat, cocking his head at her poor choice of wording, "this," he said, indicating the cutter, "Is what we will use to shape the dough."

"Oh, I thought that it was some sort of torturing device you forgot to put away earlier," she said, smiling as she elbowed him in the ribs, "…wouldn't surprise me, you know, with your history."

"Ah, not quite, I prefer scooping my victims eyes out with a spoon. Simplicity is key, you know."

She giggled, "god I'm never going to want to use a spoon again. Now how am I supposed to eat."

"Says the woman whom I caught eating dinner with her hands just two weeks ago, do not think that your preference for the medieval style of dining has gone unmarked! Would you pass me that pan over there."

V received yet another well earned jab in the ribcage as he set about shaping the miniature cakes. A while later they finally had all of the dough cut out and V placed the first batch in the oven, gingerly setting the timer before leaving the appliance to it's duties. Evey, who was just beginning an attempt to clean up their mess, turned to look at him as he did so. Yet another bout of soft giggling soon made it's way out of the woman's small frame, and V was left once again to ponder hearing such a rare sounds in his home.

"Evey, what on earth…" he queried, cocking his head in curiosity.

Evey lifted a hand off of her mouth, "You have a giant hand print on your back! How did that happen?"

"Do I? Well I seem to recall a certain young lady assaulting me earlier when I reminded her that the milk was in the refrigerator and not the cabinet."

"Oh you….haha, it looks so silly! Here, let me get it off" She reached up to wipe the top left quadrant of his back with one hand while grabbing the dish cloth on the counter with the other. Unfortunately, in the periphery of her vision, Evey did not quite realize that the jar of flour that had previously been set aside for the purpose of rolling the dough was placed on top of the cloth. V heard a scraping noise, and was just about to turn around when a loud yip came out of the woman beside him.

Good lord, he hadn't even realized that she could even reach that note with her voice. The following "thud" and "poof" only confirmed his suspicions.

…The tub of flour had toppled over.

Evey, of course, could not help but to immediately burst out laughing.

A minute or so went by, Evey clutching at her stomach in an attempt to quell her giggles while V simply stared at her, not knowing quite how to react to her sudden outburst. The mess, good lord!

"Oh god, oh god I can't stop laughing." Evey said, gasping for air.

"Evey, honestly…"

"V look at yourself! You look like a cow! Ahahaha. Well…maybe not a cow but something black and white with speckles! Ahaha. Oh god I can't stop. Help! Ahahahaha."

She drew and arm out towards him pressing it against his chest in an attempt to maintain her balance. This, however only seem to cause her fit of giggling to worsen.

Well there it was, Miss Hammond had finally cracked. V knew it was only a matter of time before boredom took his lady to the edge of sanity. Truly, that she had lasted this long was impressive.

He couldn't help but to join in with his own bell-like chuckle which was not so much directed at his own predicament as it was to Evey's. Her hair had fallen out of it's ties and was slowly making it's way out in tangles around her face, her hands and arms were covered in chalky white powder and her face littered with tiny white dots, and all of it was billowing off in a cloud around her as she tried to tame her fit of laughter. It really was quite the sight, a side of her he knew that few ever had the privilege to witness.

A glass of water was offered, which Evey took gratefully. She began to calm down as she drank it, though nearly chocked at first. Finally able to open her eyes again, she looked up to survey the mess and V, her eyes were glittering with mirth

"Sorry V I just…that was really funny. I didn't mean to get flour all over you."

He inspected his doublet, only half joking with his next statement, "Oh, I have been doused in worse, I can assure you. Easily mended with a change. You, however, are going to need a shower my dear."

"Well, I suppose…" she said, finally taking the time to survey the damage on her own body.

"Go get ready, I'll get the kitchen cleaned and the table set. We'll have a formal dinner, shall we?" V said, grabbing a cloth from the oven's handle.

"Alright." Evey nodded and turned to leave, she paused, however, glancing back at him with a sardonic expression.

"…is that supposed to be your way of asking me out on a date?"

V chuckled, "not quite, Madame , I am simply trying to entertain my most honored guest."

"V, I'm you only guest. Not buying that." she said drawing a pointed finger into the air as she made her way down the corridor towards her room "Not one bit!"

"If only you knew Evey," V whispered as he watched her leave, smiling at her cheeriness, "if only you knew."


	3. Chapter 3

And so, after cleaning up both himself and the kitchen--which took a surprisingly small amount of time, given his experience in cleaning up strange messy powders--V collected some of his finer dishes and set about washing each piece, given the copious dust that they had collected over the years. After the dishes there was the jukebox to tend too, and several other things to manage as he slipped into a state of deep thought.

He could imagine Evey slipping on the elegant silk evening gown , how it would fall gracefully on to her slender form, the color contrasting with her skin in a delicious presentation of true beauty.

Green, it was green. Not one of those overly zealous lime greens or regular granny smiths, heavens no! Rather, it was a deep, challenging jungle green that would bring out her golden cider hair and reflect her untamed personality. And oh how ravishing it would look on her when she…

Good lord what was he doing?

"You scoundrel," he said as he picked up a white table cloth along with a small but dainty candelabra, placing both on the table in proper form and order, "what she would think of you?"

"V?" he turned around, ever attentive to Evey's call --something which rivaled even that of Anarchy's in its siren-like pull-- "is this alright?"

…and if she could have seen V's eyes widening behind the mask as his vision turned to her in the green silk evening dress; well, she would not have had any question about her looks.

"You look…" and for once he was short on words.

"Yes?" Evey's .eyes were eager

And truly there were no words to describe such a divine angel, the definition of beauty paled when used in reference to this woman. He had to offer her something, however, some crumb of explanation that described what lay before him.

"Well Evey there is a word but… "

Mhmm?" she stepped closer, causing his poor heart to beat faster than usual under such circumstances.

"Many words…"

She smiled.

"Enchanting, beautiful…ravishing," his voice lowered, almost seductive, "there is not one painting or sculpture in this gallery that can compare to the vision that I am currently beholding"

Evey giggled, "was that a quote?"

"No,"

"Oh, well…"

He chuckled and held one finger to the air, "let us not forget dinner, shall we?" Stepping up to the table, V pulled out a chair and gave a short bow.

"Your seat, Madame."

Evey smiled and sat down, waiting as he placed a glass in front of her, filling it with water of all things. Then, turning back to the stove and dishes, he proceeded to gather her meal.

After a few moments of assembly, Evey soon had a magnificent display of food in front of her set upon an equally magnificent set of china. V then sat across from her, folding his arms upon the table as he eagerly awaited her first bite. Of course, given the joy of the moment and how much energy it had taken he to get into that damned dress, she wasted no time on the consumption of such a wonderful presentation. Picking up a fork (and purposefully avoiding the spoon) she staked the first piece of watery meat that she could find and, with an attempt at modesty, brought it to her mouth. V simply sat in silence, hopefully awaiting her judgment and wishing beyond wishes that he could join her in such endeavors.

A resounding "Mmmmnn" was all that she could manage.

"So you like it?"

"Like it? V, This is delicious. Oh I've never tasted anything quite like this. God, It's perfect!" She said, now letting down what little modest guard she had as she shoved half of a biscuit into her mouth, "Where did you learn about cooking anyways? How did you find the time?"

V chuckled at her sudden outburst, "well I wasn't always this busy, you know. I spent many long hours here trying to come up with ways to entertain myself. Finding ones own entertainment is not hard, as long as there's an interest. I enjoy all of the arts, culinary included, and so I took up cooking as one of my hobbies." He did not lead her on to the notion that doing such things were not simply a means to find pleasure in his life. They were meant to maintain his sanity, something that knew could easily be lost in the presence of the darkness and loneliness that made up the walls of a guestless shadow gallery.

"Well I think I've got a new favorite," Evey blurted out during her third rushed mouthful of food "I mean really, this is wonderful."

"I'll bet," he said while reaching over and, with the thumb of his glove, wiping a few wayward biscuit crumbs off of the side of her face. He chuckled, "I do think that you would find it easier to swallow before speaking."

She smiled through another mouthful of food, ever the chipmunk. The blatant lack of grace contrasted finely against her beauty and intelligence, utterly charming V all the more.

"Sowy" she spoke again through the biscuit, " 's jus' soh gud." Then she laughed, swallowing, and put a hand to her head in mock frustration, "oh god, I did it again! Oh, I'm rotten at this."

She smiled again though, and made an attempt to use better table manners, decreasing the pace of her consumption and opting not to inhale the delicious food before her. It was during this smile, however, that Evey came to a sudden pause, as if in realization of something that she had not quite pondered before. The smile faded and V watched, with growing concern, as her demeanor changed completely. She frowned and placed the utensil down, looking up and down at him as if unsure of whether or not she should voice her newest concerns.

"Evey?" V spoke.

Moments passed between them as a strange, unfamiliar tension came into the air, but just as V was about to say something Evey whispered her thoughts.

"V…" It was all she could say as she began to experience a rather raw and powerful emotion overcoming her at the realization that V had not, in fact, allowed himself to enjoy this night as she had.

"Is something wrong, I can make something else if you would…"

"No, no." She said, interrupting him. "It's not that. I just…won't you eat with me?"

"I can't"

"But, well we spent so much time making it together and I thought that you might," she paused, "…trust me…by now, I mean."

"Evey…"

She looked down, "please…"

There was another long pause, silence enveloping the room as each struggled to fight against the rising tension. Frustration was evident upon Evey's features, pent up emotion rising out of her form by way of trembling hands and an increasingly shaky form as her body gave light to whatever emotions she could not openly voice. It was clear that she had been holding this in for a while.

V rose and stepped carefully around the table. Tears were the last things that V wished to draw out from her, especially when the intent of the entire dinner was to cheer her up. Firm black leather crossed the paths of those salty droplets on her face, unwilling to let them complete their respective journeys as he knelt down to her level, "Evey..."

"Don't you?" she could not bring herself to look at him.

"Evey you do not understand. It has nothing to do with trust, my dear. It is not my intention to offend you, I simply can't. Not yet, at least. You will see in time."

Evey shook her head, a few more tears glinting off of her delicate face onto the surface of V's glove as he held her head firmly--though not so much as to cause threat.

"V, I just feel like I've been here forever. Time floats away from me and…I just wanted to be able to sit down and eat with someone for once. I can barely stand it. This place, your home, it's beautiful but I don't belong here," V winced beneath the mask at her words, "you won't let me belong here. You're not just hiding behind that mask V, I've been here long enough to see that. There's so much more that you won't let me know. "

The ever vigilant revolutionary remained motionless for quite some time, considering her words…letting them soak in before he decided to act on them. The woman was seeking a truth that he simply could not (or rather, would not allow himself to) give her, not in this manner.

But she deserved at least some form of it, did she not? After all it was he who had suggested the meal, and he who had brought her into his home to begin with. For her own protection, of course, but still he felt as if he was largely responsible for many of her current woes. She was trapped, however, in a world that she did not yet understand to a full degree. Indeed she had been through quite a good bit in life by her own rights, but she remained trapped by her own fears. That he could see with perfect clarity, while she was blind to it; stuck in a prison within the prison of her current world. The latter prison he was already beginning to destroy, but the former…it remained tightly secured. There was a way to break those bars too, however. A horrible way but a way nonetheless.

"There is a way" V said, breaking the momentary silence between them with the low husk of his baritone. "but I'm afraid it would be rather inconvenient for you."

Evey's eyes looked up to the familiar black sockets of Fawkes' visage, hopeful but with though with a twinge of doubt, "there is?"

"Yes. A blindfold, you will have to sacrifice the light, yet within the darkness I will be able to deliver to you at least some measure of the truth."

"I'll do it," Evey said, unwavering, "anything as long as I don't have to eat alone."

V nodded, "one moment, then" he rose and left the room, only to return minutes later with a beautiful brown silk sash in hand, "this will have to do," he held it up to her vision, "I did not want the material to be too harsh."

"It's perfect," she sniffed between word, still attempting to recover, "Thank you V, I mean, I'm sorry that I got so upset I just w…"

"Evey, Evey," he interrupted, his voice soft "you should never apologize for seeking the truth"

…god that just made her want to cry more.

He stepped forward, bringing the lace closer to her face and awaiting her permission. After a nod from the lady, he wrapped the band around her face, tying it snugly to the back of her head and then stepping back to survey his work.

"I can't see anything, if that's you're wondering."

"I should hope not," he said a bit shakily, turning around in an attempt to quell his nerves, "I shall return in a moment."

She heard the clicks and clanks of various dishes being put together, the thump of his meal being assembled upon the table and then a shuffle of clothing as he sat down to join her. Another noise, an unfamiliar shifting of clasps joined his strange symphony, and she heard a soft tap as an object (what she hoped was a mask) was set before him. Then all was silent.

"V?" she asked, slightly confused in the darkness.

"I'm right here"

Incredible, it was incredible. His voice, without the mask…there was a crispness to it that sliced though the air, cutting away all distraction, encompassing her being and sending shivers down her spine. It was simply the most wonderful thing she had ever heard. Even those wonderful bass undertones (which she had formerly assumed were exemplified by the mask) were enhanced by the objects removal.

"Wow," was all she could say

"Hmm?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just, I've never heard you without the mask. It's very nice." She began to blush and hastily tried to cover it up by blindly locating a utensil and shoving it into a piece of food. Food, however, was not what the object hit and Evey almost grimaced as she felt the prongs of her fork enter the wood of the table.

"Oh! V I'm sorry!" God I'm so clumsy."

"No no, it's quite fine. Here, let me," V reached over to help her, his teeth shining brilliantly white and well formed through a smile that she would never see. A smile that contrasted very starkly against the damaged face that carried it.

She giggled as the fork he held made contact with her lips, the act of which utterly charmed V. Lord, what was he going to do with himself. This woman…she was nothing short of intoxicating. How he wished that he could claim those lips for his own, tell her how impossible affections had resurfaced from the very pits of his soul for her, plaguing him with unspeakable desires. But no…that could never be. Not with this man.

"See now isn't this much better? " she said as she heard him begin to work on his own plate.

"Yes love, it is"

"Excuse me?" The blindfold crinkled as a rather surprised expression formed upon her features.

"Err." Lord! Did he really just say what he thought he did, "I said yes, lovely isn't it?"

"Oh…" she nearly looked disappointed, a reaction that took V by surprise.

"Not what you expected?"

"V I think that I've learned not to 'expect' anything from a man like you."

"I shall keep that in mind"

..and the rest of their meal carried on through the evening as his laugher, Evey's intoxicating giggles, and a lovely jazz piece filled the atmosphere of V's hidden gallery. Such a lovely night that, eventually (and to v's utter despair) had to end as Evey's yawns increased and her demeanor slackened.

Placing the mask back on was an easy task, but having to remove such a wonderful barrier from eye's visage…well he wasn't fond of the idea. However, it had to be done.

Rising from the table once more, V quickly undid the ties of the satin lace, unwilling to have her in the dark any longer than was necessary, --though he did, at first, hazard a glance over her one last time beforehand--and held them back.

"Close your eyes, it will seem a bit bright at first."

She took his advice, wincing behind lidded eyes as the darkness was removed and light slowly began to flood her vision. His mask met her gaze first, he had come around and knelt before her yet again. This time, however, he was not obliged with the task of drying her tears, but rather with the duty of transporting her safely to her sleeping quarters.

"…Thank you, Evey," he whispered softly, and took her hand, pulling her up from the chair as he rose to his full height. Without question he hooked her palm around his elbow, bowing his arm out in the manner of an escort, and began to lead her into the hallway, towards his former bedroom.

The pace was slow, and neither of them said anything for a while,

"I will be gone tomorrow morning" V finally broke the heavy silence.

"Did you forget something in the supply trains?"

"No, not quite. It's a project that I've been working on for a very, very long time," he sighed.

"What is it?"

"A surprise, something no one will expect."

"Will it involve fireworks?" Her brow was raised, a rather sarcastic, expression forming upon her face, despite the twinge of hidden emotions beneath.

"Yes, I suppose, no more questions though, you will see in time" his voice had a certain finality to it, prompting her to cease any further questioning. He did not wish to ruin their night.

"Alright,"

"Goodnight Evey."

She looked up at him giving him one wishful glance, waiting for some unmentionable thing that she dare not name, though it never came.

Then, a soft "goodnight," and she was gone.

Evey's face was replaced by the cold, unforgiving wood of her bedroom door, leaving V's mask barely inches away from it's surface. Good Lord, just how close had his face really been to hers? Had he leaned in? He certainly did not remember doing such a thing. Had Evey? No, no she hadn't, not towards him. Never towards him.

"More fireworks than you could ever imagine. " he whispered, a lone black hand skimming it's way across the heavy wood, barely audible in the stillness of the night, "My sweet Evey."

Then a sigh.

Unbeknownst to V, Evey's head was pressed against the door. She had intended originally to hear him walk away, hesitantly relinquishing the last bit of human contact that she would have for the next day or so, but when no sound came she questioned whether or not he was still standing there. Then she heard a deep rumble as V whispered a series of incoherent words that included her name and a soft scrape as something brushed against her door.

"V?" she called out, surely it had been him and not some sort of trick in her mind.

There was no answer, only the soft patter of boots on the ground as they made there way across the gallery and away from Evey's room.

Simply fulfilling his life's purpose, he went onward, leaving the only woman he had ever loved alone and without his comfort. If he had been any other man, any other man at all, she would have been in his arms right now. An embrace, a kiss, or perhaps even more than that. He was, however, the only hope that the nation had left for bringing the current government to it's knees, and thus was hardly a man at all. An idea, who could not love Evey as she truly deserved…or so he believed.

It was time to prepare his train and his revolution.


End file.
